Geezer
Geezer
Aug 08, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Hot Summer Nights

(Read More...)

Hot Summer Nights...

Went to Woodstock baby
hot summer nights out there
It rained and we made mud-pies
[we got muddy everywhere]

Fast cars and faster women
coming down the pike
I had a few of both
and a Honda motorbike

On hot summer nights I partied
some I went too far
I passed out a lot beneath
velvet skies all shot with stars

The sweet smell of Maryjane
floated on the air
Her scent intoxicating
took away your cares

And hot summer nights
with a moon of molten gold
are what is left to me
as I am growing old

Dreams of what I used to be
haunt me even yet
Memories of youth, it seems
as we age, is what we get

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Hot Summer Nights..." is a nostalgic reflection on the past, specifically the speaker's youthful experiences at Woodstock. The use of vivid imagery and sensory language effectively conveys the atmosphere of those times. For example, the "moon of molten gold" and "velvet skies all shot with stars" create a vivid, almost tangible, picture of the summer nights.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The irregularity of the rhythm and rhyme can be distracting and disrupts the flow of the poem. For instance, the second stanza has a different rhyme scheme (ABCC) than the first and third stanzas (ABAB), which could be confusing for the reader.

Furthermore, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's emotions and thoughts. While the poem effectively describes the speaker's experiences, it could provide more insight into how these experiences have shaped the speaker. This could add more depth and complexity to the poem.

Lastly, the use of cliches such as "fast cars and faster women" and "sweet smell of Maryjane" could be replaced with more original and specific descriptions. This would make the poem more unique and engaging for the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Ruby Lord

Loved it Geezer. Your rhyming and pace are excellent and carried me through the poem from start to end. Something I had to guess, MaryJane I presume is some sort of social relaxant? Well done, it was great, Ruby :)

Ruby Lord

I know what weed is but I've never heard it called Mary Jane before, it must be the great divide ha ha. I tried it once and I wasn't impressed, maybe someone gave me a fake smoke, anything was possible. Ruby :)

Geezer

never do get what it is all about. That's okay, I don't try to convince them, anymore than I want people to convince me that certain things are good, like sushi or avocados. [Shiver]. And you are right, could be that someone gave you fake stuff. Anyway, BIG smiles:) Geez.
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Geezer

Nice to see you, hope you left us something. I've missed your writes. ~ Geezer.
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