Time has been tethered
in the cave of despair
life rides in the vehicle
of uncertainty and penury
but this time a sunrise
shall smile aloud sincerely
©© Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Time has been tethered
in the cave of despair
life rides in the vehicle
of uncertainty and penury
but this time a sunrise
shall smile aloud sincerely
©© Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
A lifting up piece JW
well structured. Short and to the point with effective visuals.
I can't see why you need to capitalize the word sincerely, but it's your poem and you know better
A big thanks
For stopping by. You're right! No intention of using upper case. Am changing it now.
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Hope Alive
Hello, Jackweb,
Much said in six lines. "...a sunrise shall smile aloud sincerely." That definitely brings hope alive.
Thank you!
L
Wow!
A big thanks to you for reading and commenting.
.
Brief
But amazing. Keep them coming. I love the brevity.
Tim
Alright!
A big thanks to you for reading and commenting. Sure, I'll keep them coming... !
.
Hopefully
This time a sunrise
Shall smile aloud sincerely.
This is a short but spicy piece, keep up the good work
O yeah!
Thanks so much for stopping by.
.