Honky Tonk Queen
The year: 1888
The place: Some western town
(Home of the Honky Tonk Saloon)
The owner: Bodacious Valene
Introducing Valene
Her luscious physique, made all men weak
Dreaming they had her in bed.
She loved being flirty,
And talked a bit dirty;
The kind of broad ‘proper ladies’ dread.
Welcome to The Honk Tonk Saloon
A small town out west, bragged of the best
Saloon, that offered a treat.
It’s walls, bright red and black,
Some complained it lacked tack
But its dancehall girls couldn’t be beat.
Bodacious Valene, Honky Tonk’s queen,
Knew how to treat her flock well.
Other women folk there,
Hoped to give her a scare,
Warning one day she’d end up in Hell!
The men folk in town, ne’er wore a frown
Since the day she sauntered in.
Everyday around noon,
Men entered the Saloon,
And enjoyed beer, potent whisky or gin.
Then her dancehall girls, showed off their twirls
And the gents relished the show.
Though some were unsteady,
Val knew they were ready
And would gladly let go of more dough.
Known for her sass, this Madame with class
First introduced her fine flock.
Then they’d venture upstairs,
Threw away all their cares,
Losing track of the chimes from the clock.
As months went by, wives started to cry
Wanting Valene to leave town.
Threat’ning to burn her place
Cos it was a disgrace,
They were determined to bring her down!
The men were upset knowing they’d regret
The day their wives might succeed.
They tried hard to protest
But their wives wouldn’t rest,
So, Valene fin’ly sold them the deed.
When the wives won; proud their work was done
They thought their men would stay home.
But these husbands were miffed
Which in turn caused a rift,
Giving them a great reason to roam.
Epilogue
Dear sweet Valene, the Honky Tonk Queen
Refused to be beaten down.
Using her classy sass,
Showing off her fine ass,
Had no problem finding a new town.
.
Comments
Appreciated constructive criticism
Why thank you gemma stoner for your encouraging words. I agree with what you said about the word 'enjoyed' and will contemplate switching out one of them. I hope you weren't 'stung' by the 'wasp' that entered your room, and if unable to 'kill' it at least figure out a way to rid yourself of it permanently!!!!
There shall be more to follow as there is more to the queen's tale, along with other works so keep a look out!
val
Possible round up
'Howdy partner, ya ready for a round up?' LOL! If you mean by magnetic you were drawn to the read...pun intended....and enjoyed it, I'm glad. And if you were just drawn to it, I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment! :)!
Glad title 'grabbed' you
I usually find that coming up with a title for my works can be harder than actually writing them, so it makes me happy to know in this case I did good! There is more to her story which I'll post soon and I hope you enjoy it as well!
Thanks for the input and you taking the time to let me know your thoughts!
val
Want to know
I like the rhymes schemes of the poem. There are 5 lines in one stanza. The first line rhymes within itself (eg. A small town out west, bragged of the best).
The second line rhymes with the fifth and the third and the fourth rhymes. Is there a name for this type of poem?
The theme is good. The narration is lovely. I feel good that I was born too late to be in that western town. Or, did I miss the fun?
Thinking the old west could've been fun
Thanks so much for your positive input! As far as the form goes, I have no clue if there's a name for it. It just sort of happened while I was writing, and as I read it out loud I liked how it sounded....so I went with it. I'm not familiar with all the different forms of poetry. I never studied it and am self taught. Having been on a different site, others have helped me along the way with their critiques. At any rate I'm glad you enjoyed the read. There is more to Valene's story, I'll post at some point.
val
Lordy!
more fun then my brother in law and I at the strip club meeting my
other brother in law....like how random the odds
Too celebrate we took home two girls for the evening!
Ahh Tent city...when the Photo graphic machine came out
they took pictures of the boom town...
The Wild West!
some lovely girls and women in the day
I always liked "Miss Kitty" from gunsmoke
and the moved about...
they had the cash..
to even build their own buildings
buy into town council
same as today!
a rip roaring baudalicious
write!
thank U!
Like baudalicious
Sounds like ya'll would've enjoyed the days at the Honky Tonk Saloon!!! Ah "Miss Kitty," she did come to mind while writing this....she was an impressive, independent woman....not of the norm 'back then' I'm guessing, and I like that!!!
Baudalicious....like the sound of it .....rhymes nicely with bodacious!
Thank u for dropping in the saloon and sharing your thoughts!
val
Intrigued by the old west
In one way or another I've always been intrigued by the old west. As a kid I loved watching westerns on TV and longed to be a cowboy. And Miss Kitty from the show 'Gun Smoke' was a pretty impressive woman in my book.....LOL! It made me smile to read how much you enjoyed the write and got into the imagery I created....I shan't share where the actual inspiration came from for writing this cos you'd probably think me a bit off the wall....which wouldn't be far from the truth...LOL!!!
Thanks for the positive input! I do have a follow up to Valene's story and will share at some point.
A hint: Have you ever given any thought to the idea of being given a second chance at life... having lived in the past, then one day, many, many years later, you suddenly find yourself living in the present, starting from where you left off?
Thanks so much Patricia for taking the time to read my poem and share your thoughts.
val
Thanks for the info
The book does sound interesting, one definitely worth having a look at. I'd never thought in that direction before till I spoke with a medium who is world renowned for her 'gift' for reading psychic readings she does, and she definitely mentioned she felt I had a past life. She went on about a lot of other things as well but long story short, when she mentioned past life, it wasn't till awhile later, i started thinking about this poem and how i came up with the idea. Then going on to write a continuation of it which I'm thinking of posting today, it suddenly seemed possible. I don't remember consciously have memories of living back then but the subconscious could have come into play. I shall PM you how I came up with it, it's kind of weird i guess...LOL!!! Thanks so much for your interest!
That was...
That was a fun story-poem from beginning to end. Enjoyed.
Greatly appreciated
thanks Halcyon for bringing 'Her Majesty's' story back to life! so glad you enjoyed the read!
val
It's good
that Halcyon brought this back in stream. It's outstanding to say the least for yopur ability Val to maintain the Limerick form...what a spell binding story..it left me craving to visit the Honky Tonk Saloon...let me know when you are going to give free passes and tickets...:)...very stimulating and full of fun like a see through...
...........................................
'her majesty' wishes she could return there.....
ah yes, the Honky Tonk Saloon.....if only it were possible to return there! i have it on good authority 'her majesty' misses the excitement her saloon brought to all it's patrons....
thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, raj, and if somehow free passes become available and you don't mind a bit of time travel, i'll put in a good word for you! LOL!
val