At my grandfather’s
final resting place
lays an oval shaped
white marble headstone
looking as if it belongs in
Arlington National Cemetery
This slab of carved stone
marks many of the things
that have happened
during my grandfather’s life
including his date of birth
as well as his death
Among other things
it marks his service
in World War II
with the Sea Bees
of the United States Army
His career as a
founder and owner
of his own newspaper
with the moniker of “Scoop”
But even though
when I come to visit him
I can only see a slab
of white stone
I look at it
and I know
he is watching over me
Comments
hello Ben
Unlike most I find no solace in visiting graves of loved ones but I see no harm in doing so. I am pleased that you find comfort in visiting his resting place an your description of a visit there is precise. Only thing you might think about changing is to omit have in line 9 or changing it to had. Welcome to Neopoet and looking forward to more......stan
hello ben
this is a very gentle write
i like the way you just say it - without embellishment
it emphasises the emptiness somehow,
and highlights the uplift at the end
i would suggest you shorten the title
'white marble' appeals to me
also - just a suggestion
'This slab of carved stone
marks many of the things
that have happened
during my grandfather’s life
including his date of birth
as well as his death'
- maybe
'This slab of carved stone
marks many of the things
that happened
during my grandfather’s life
including his date of birth
and death' ??
and the final verse seems just a little short of what you are trying to say
perhaps if you described the feeling you have of the coldness of the slab ...
then say that however you still feel him watching over you
just all imho
a very captivating free form write
love judy