Sometime soon,
my great boon
would to find the planet where I was born
I'll know by feel more than sight
the gravity will be light.
The days are thirty six hours long
and the nights eighteen
it's where I truly belong
it's where I should have been
Most folk are civilised and know
that such ideas are unbecoming
yet they do not really show
how hard it is to get up each morning
Comments
Jess
This reads well and is to the point. the theme is unusual which only makes it that much more intriguing. All in all, one of the better poems I have read by you for awhile. Nice write.
ta mate
appreciated
Thanks Jess for the last few
Thanks Jess for the explanation in last few words without which I wouldn't have known the meaning of Hiraeth. The title fits the poem and its theme "longing" and i found this poem conveying it very crisply..
Regards,
Hi Jess
I can identify that I seldom feel like I'm where I Really belong> I suspect many folks are like that. I liked the use of rhyme and near rhyme as well as your decision to break rhyme when it suited you. A fine example of the direction in which I think poetry is headed.............stan
Ta Lonnie, Raj and Stan
for your thoughts
jess
I like the lucidity in this. I think it is the first to rhyme poem I read from you and it isn't bad at all. In fact it could be good exemplary of unforced rhymes poem and the theme is unusual. It is inspirational in a way.
thank you for sharing.
The theme is...
one that resonates with many of us. Though a lot of people feel like they do not belong where they are, we often do not realize that we are not alone in this. You could have done a little better with the rhythm, but over-all, I liked the work. ~ Gee
Excellent crit, mate
I'll certainly work on that.
Jess
Loved the simplicity of this one much quieter than your usual word spread.
I always look up your words and as you say it was Welsh then I was doubly interested..
Hiraeth
Hiraeth is a longing for one's homeland, but it's not mere homesickness. It's an expression of the bond one feels with one's home country when one is away from it.
As soon as I step over the border into Wales my hiraeth evaporates. I am home.
Seems like a lovely welsh word, how do you find such words are you reading dictionaries ??lol.
More of a feeling than a word, great find,
Yours Ian..
There is another explanation of the word, something to do with Condensed time lapse photography, but also from Wales..
Ta
sshhh, don't tell, I think I found it on Facebook
Jess
I wont tell anyone that you found it on "Face Book",
But it shows how just one word can turn the keys into a great writing creature,
Go well young Jess and keep in touch more, Yours As always Ian, Anne and the children..
PS:- Today a Dunnock flew into our sitting room window, the light must have blinded him temporarily, I held him in my hands to wait for him to recover but he must have been badly hurt, his spirit flew away but left me sad and a feeling of emptiness in that I could not heal him.
But life goes on and we must attend to its needs,
yours Ian..
Love this one!
I got same isssues
not nervousness like some
some get literally sick
but of the weight...
that gravity as you say....
off I go...
thank U
and thank you
I am starting to understand some of the connections between bipolar and anxiety disorders. Sure, we all hate labels but they can help in getting the right help