I admired him from afar,
watching
through a window
of time
our first contact
bled with the intenseness
of a crash,
admiration
was thrown and seeds
of contempt grew
Days went by
side looks stared
into the target,
but disdain and ire
waned to nothing
but sparks of ego
the second introduction,
it bound by the rules
of Utopian society,
a new conversation
of light and song
of love gone wrong
Started.
But
communication
ceased, memory faded
touch was lost,
but again, today
he said "Hello"
and my heart
now thumps.
Comments
Jayne
A good write on situations that happens to a lot of us.
Residual feelings flicker as a candle in the void of space.
Take care young lady, just smile and walk on..
Yours as always Ian & Friends xx
Dear Ian
I think I started this poem about six months ago I found it the other night and decided to finish it, I think a lot of people have feelings like this but never act on them for whatever reason. I had impetus to finish this one maybe showing what could be or maybe ? ;)
much love always JC xxx
Dear Jane
An enjoyable read and I thought the title really fits your "little tale."
I've played a little with the lination of some verses, see if you like any or discard it altogether dear.
our first contact
bled with the intenseness
of a crash,
admiration was thrown
and seeds of contempt grew
Days went by[,]
side looks stared
into the target,
but disdain and ire
waned to nothing
but sparks of ego
the second introduction,
it bound by the rules
of Utopian society,
a new conversation
of light and song
of love gone wrong
[s]Started.
But [I'd drop this"but"]
communication ceased,
memory faded
touch was lost,
but
again, today
he said "Hello"
and my heart
now thumps.[I'd say "now is thumping, or "my heart thumps"]
Please know I really loved this as it tells much about your little heart.
Dear Rula
I am very happy you liked this one I plan to edit it over the next few days I have a week with not much to do so my plan is to work on some poems and edit a lot that have gone by the wayside in the craziness of things, thanks for your kind pointers I will take them all into consideration when I do an edit and I will be doing one soon :)
thanks for the visit and your thoughts they are always appreciated
love JC xxx