In a Haze Colorless Pale
The sun late afternoon
crossed the darkened room
in a haze colorless pale
dust danced in slow motion
in streams of light though the air
suffocating movements of silence
the sun began to fade
and I felt the lonliness weigh heavy
in the dim of twilight
the noise was gone
and silence spoke its mourning
as day fled into dark
like a shrouded veil
and I began to sink
into madness
Comments
I am the dust that dances
I am the dust that dances notionless in beams of lght--the paradox of movement frozen in time,,,felt and seen by memeory[s mind..
No goodnews,my friend
joe
Thank you, Rosinella, Good to
Thank you, Rosinella, Good to see you again.
joe
Hi Joe..
melancholy very well expressed in these couplets..i liked the idea of equating yourself with the dust...perhaps as particles of bygone memories if i red it right...if so the meaning is profound...it is effective to the extent you meant it to be....
Thank you, Raj, The dust is
Thank you, Raj, The dust is the moevment of silence, Iam going to add that tothe poem.
Joe
Joe. lose the *near* in the
Joe. lose the *near* in the last line. It's more *effective*c that way. I have some other thoughts.. will be back.
~A
ok
ok