"Haiku"
Equatorial
Midday sun no shadow thrown
A summertime home
"Haiku"
Where deep holes made damp
By Monsoon water way down
Drop bucket to fill
"Haiku"
The leaf twisted off
Fell to the hard frozen ground
The shadows grew long
"Haiku"
The blue bells did ring
The white bells swayed aloof
My lavender soon
"Senyru"
Many bad pains felt
A bonding that makes you cry
Tiny hands reach out
"Senyru"
Love on empty ears
Failed feelings gone, are wasted
No more can I give
"Senyru"
Fat feeder eats much
Cholesterol clogs old veins
Sharp pain felt in chest
"Senyru"
Water fell in space
Rainbow above holding all
Rapture of the mist
All the Senyru's are in the form of Haiku
"Tanka "
Secret of movements
Flowing silent underground
Released to the sun
Touching all, it nurtures
Let us rejoice life runs free......
Comments
oh yes
haiku 1, despite mentioning humanity, is exquisite
haiku 2 a bit ho hum
haiku 3 gorgeous
haiku 4 minus 40 points for using the word beauty. Never good in any poem, inexcusable in haiku.
senyru 1 oh yes!
senyru 2 and again, you are better with people than nature, we all know this.
senyru 3 no, sorry, just a whine.
tanka sorry, feels cliched to me. Not capturing something special.
Submission for Workshop
Jess,
I have had a go at the obvious ones, so I hope I have a better selection and form this time these damn Syllables no wonder people speak in three letter words, Yours Ian
ps
love the Pratchett quote, love anything Pratchett
Pratchett
I bought a load of his books once, as we had a Student from some European Country, I bought them at a market stall and sent them.
I love his way with the world, but sad that he has Alzheimer's, though give him his due's, he has already made arrangements for later, when he becomes too bad to be sent out of this world.
He is coping at the moment with a ghost writer, as it is hard for him to sort things out.
The ghost is not a pun, what a character to still think to write.
You take care out there, it is good that we know how lucky we are with great guy's like that to learn from, Yours Ian.T