The beauty in your green eyes
Steals and it seals,
The beauty of your heart
As well
If only I wish
I was much younger, than still
Your beauty I'd devour at will
But it’s too late in my life,
The sun is about to set,
The horizon is far, distant away…
I can't stay,
Even if you want me to play
My good times have lapsed
And passed away
Some other time,
We shall meet, we hope
And
in your life flowers will someone lay
Who with your loveliest eyes can play?
Adieu ma'am,
My times up
I can't your eyes ever cup...
Comments
Hello Ian, thanks a million
any better now,
hopefully yes..
Too sad.
Too real. Honest and gentle, simple even. I see nothing I would alter. istan
You All polish me as a scored of
brass vessel,
which makes much noise ,
but is loud and clear
when suitably polished
See why I can't stay away from you?
You might feel attacked by me at times but it's a compulsion that takes me when I read lesser works by those who I know can do better.
I am touched.
This is definitely one of the better.
Thanks the credit goes
to you .Have a good day
no very sincerely, the credit goes to you
maybe I provoke you in some ways, but you write the poetry.
Thanks.... the credit goes,
still goes to you .
Without a master ,
no student can produce
the invaluable goods.
hi
Stanza 2, line 2.........I think the afore mentioned problem might reside in the word "than". Have you considered changing it to then or maybe deleting it? I agree with those above that this is one of your better poems..........stan
Than still has
an implication that
i am now ...still .. half incomplete breathless perhaps sentence
and thanks for ur lovely words all of you...