The great blue eye changes color
shifting through each story
Scenes of memes and commercials
T.V. in all its glory
Make your day go fast
with help for your digestion
Watch the former President
be arrested for insurrection
T.V. hosts on game shows
giving cars and money
Contests of smarts and charisma
served by half-dressed honeys
Daytime soaps and dramas
Dr.s , crooks and heroes
Contests with sliding scales
sliding down to zeros
The government is funding game shows
gives them a bunch of bucks
Keeps the populace happy
gives them hope, those stupid clucks
Divide and conquer the population
keep them at each other's throats
Tell them that the immigrants
need more food and coats
Deny soldiers their due process
make them without a home
Let the voices in their heads
ride big engines and bright chrome
Flags of I Hate You Back
"What did I do for you?
I left my innocence in a war
while you sat here by the pool"
The government's taken my freedom
"Give me liberty or death"
Made me pay what I don't have
as I'm taking my last breath
Drag me kicking, screaming
"Give me back my peace!
Just leave me here alone"
Now, war's here as a thief
It falls to the common man's honor
to defend his life and goals
Men who see right through your skin
to the horror of your souls
So, to the ones that have died for us
I pledge a solemn memory
I will always remember those
who have fought to keep us free
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Great Blue Eye" is a social commentary that uses the metaphor of television to critique various aspects of society, such as commercialism, political corruption, and the treatment of veterans. The poem's structure is consistent, mostly adhering to a four-line stanza format with an AABB rhyme scheme, which enhances its readability.
The poem's strength lies in its vivid imagery and use of metaphor. For instance, "The great blue eye changes color/shifting through each story" effectively conveys the idea of television as a powerful and ever-changing influence. The poem also effectively uses satire to critique societal issues, such as in the lines "The government is funding game shows/gives them a bunch of bucks/Keeps the populace happy/gives them hope, those stupid clucks."
However, the poem could benefit from more clarity and precision in its language. Some phrases, such as "Contests with sliding scales/sliding down to zeros," are somewhat vague and could be clarified to better convey their intended meaning. Similarly, the transition between different topics could be smoother to maintain a coherent narrative throughout the poem.
The poem's tone is consistently critical, which effectively conveys its message. However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced approach that acknowledges the complexity of the issues it addresses. For instance, the line "Deny soldiers their due process/make them without a home" presents a stark image, but it could be more effective if it explored the nuances of this issue in more depth.
Lastly, the poem's ending, which shifts the focus to honoring those who have died in service, is a powerful conclusion. However, this shift is somewhat abrupt and could be better integrated into the rest of the poem.
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This is great Geezer, I got
This is great Geezer, I got bread and circuses in your opening lines as I read it the first time.
When I read it a second time it struck me how similar our countries are. How our leaders have tried to convince us that their failures were the faults of others. And we're still hearing it now, on repeat.
Great poem, lots of elements/groups/people within it that are being used and abused. Ruby :) x
Blue Eye
I like long poems, it seems so much more work goes into them. Are we alike as countries, probably. I have a niece married to an American airman ( both now retired} but when we facetime, quite frequently and I talk to her or her husband and daughter I see great similarities. I particularly liked the opening verses commenting on television. Every day rubbish is spewed out and people fall for it. I sometimes despair at the stupidity of people, then realise I am one of them. Alex.