Goodbye my sweet Buddy Blaze you were a very sweet
and gentle fellow who gave me lots smiles and joy.
And I will always be remembering you hopping and playing in yard
In the grass and laying on my bed eating a carrot.
But now you are over the rainbow bridge a far better
place where you can be with your sister Fawn who was probably
happy to see you again and all the other bunnies I have there too.
you always be in my heart and I will never forget you.
your Binky free my Sweet friend be at peace.
Dec 10, 2015
Goodbye my sweet friend
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I didn't like this as much as the other.
The sentences (verses) seem to run on. I think this would benefit from making shorter sentences or (my preferred) break the lines in the middle of your verses.
"Goodbye my sweet Buddy Blaze
you were a very sweet..."
The subject was very sad.
Wesley's Point
I, too, wanted more than sentences dumped on the page.
Poetry, even free verse, needs to leaf the reader through the piece. There has to be a flow that allows the story or thought to be enjoyed. Right now I feel my effort to resd will be greater than your effort to write.
And, to be frank, I can't see ehy I should work harder than the poet.
There has never been a poem written that is worth more of an effort to consume than to create and poets who neglect this are doomed to obscurity.