scribbler
May 15, 2011

GOOD SILENCE

In days of youth and out to eat
each full of jokes and words and tales
we enjoyed this little weekly treat
while watching an old gray couple

They hardly say a thing at all
amid the restaurant noise and bustle
she's kind of short, he's not too tall
sitting in their booth cocoon

A near table erupts with raucous song
someone's birthday celebration
she nudges him, they smile, not long
turn attention back to one another

All without a lone word spoken
guess they've nothing much to say
I sneeze and then the mood is broken
we resume or meal and conversation

Fast forward near forty years
same restaurant, we're still together
now listening to others' cheers
with silent love we nudge each other

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

I guess the rush in getting idea to paper must show. I'll come back to this soon and see if I can smooth the rhythm a bit. Thank you for thr read and suggestion..............stan