She was melancholy
because our puppy lifted his leg to pee tonight
"It makes him seem so grown up now", she had said
This made me think about her gifts
How they are not always in plain sight,
just below the surface of the words,
and how lucky I was to have someone
to help me remember to see them
Last Few Words: Sometimes, the gifts are just below the surface of the words.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
dear Michael,
she, is very wise.
(as you are observant)
*hugs, Cat
Thanks CW! Just edited the
Thanks CW! Just edited the second stanza. Seemed like a line from my comments fit there too. Appreciate your visits.
Best
A rare insight...
into a relationship that not everyone will see or appreciate. How lucky you are! This is a gem. ~ Geez.
.
Thanks as always Geez!
Thanks as always Geez! Believe me, this fool knows how lucky he is!
Best
Really good
These little interactions. Entire universes are created by the depth of love you’re conveying here. I became teary reading it. Sometimes the most seemingly mundane statement says “I love you from a place I can’t begin to understand”. Without a bunch of over sharing, what you’ve written really had a very strong emotional effect on me.
Thank you,
Tim
Thank you Tim! And thank you
Thank you Tim! And thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. Really like your “I love you from a place I can’t begin to understand" comment. Always a tricky balance to write about love and not be cloying or trite since sooo much has already been written on the topic. Glad you liked this one.
Best
dear Michael,
the best "love poems" never include the word (love) for some reason "love" has become a cleche' and a thing of toxic waste for valentines and teens.
*hugs, Cat