The Garden of Love
He fortook a ounce of belly flutter
Warm glances caught him by surprise
His cold can of frozen beer melted
As sunshine in her eyes made contact wih his.
A beauty of nature by the glassy sea, soaked up the sun
He glimpsed her long neck oval body in the middle of the lake
Gracefully she glided across the white light covered water
The setting sun makes its way across garden's path.
.
Butterflies in her chest flutter wildly
As his stature stood afar across the lake
Her cold glass of crushed ice tea slips, landed in the dirt
As the sunshine in her eyes made contact with his.
A black beauty sits on the diamond waters
Adorned with white stripped Mohawk in his hair
Peacefully waits as two black crows flew toward him
The setting sun makes its way across garden's path.
By the front entrance of the garden
Couples take eternal pictures under tall spruce trees
As sunshine in her eyes makes contact with his
The setting sun makes its way across garden's path.
Comments
i like the repetition
but i find it a little confusing
the second stanza had me thinking that 'she' was a swan
then she has a glass of iced tea?
but then i see the fourth stanza also describes a bird on the lake and i realised (i think) that it was a swan and 'she' is actually a she
.... i wonder if you want to differentiate the swan from her by not using 'she' for the bird?
all that aside- beautiful descriptive - i could visualise it all
love judy
judy
I tried to make the two shes seperate. And the two hers seperate. I see I made it confusing. I ail work on it.