Eros and Artemis
at a game of wits
who could loose
the cleanest dart
the northernmost tower
he cast into flame
the dominion to the south
fell to famine
Eros and Artemis
at a game of wits
who could loose
the cleanest dart
the northernmost tower
he cast into flame
the dominion to the south
fell to famine
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
dear Dalton,
when the Gods play, they play for keeps and on a grand scale! I like your title and the poem flows well. good language to carry it off. I much enjoyed this piece of art!
*hugs, Cat
Hi Cat
Thanks Cat I guess this came from reading Sappho we are playthings of the gods indeed, thanks for reading few bother :)
my dearest Dalton,
I think, if you read more poems of the poets of Neo and comment on them, they would read and comment on yours. you are intelligent and knowledgeable, your advice or encouragement would be welcome.
*warm hugs, Cat
Hi Cat
The northernmost tower the head or the seat of thought
The dominion to the south the sexual organs
dear Dalton,
you are absolutely right!
*hugs, Cat