IRiz
IRiz
Apr 23, 2018

Full Lungs

Free at last,
don't owe anything 
to anybody 
- I'd worked enough
in the past -
and now like a child,
do only
what I want, 
still not completely old,
I don't ask
why I have to die first 
but 
I am excited
by the fact.
And 
every minute of my life
- what has left of it -
must be mine.

I am looking at the world 
with my eyes wide open
and I enjoy
every line,
every touch,
every sound.
Like a long-deprived
of oxygen lungs,
I am inflated all at once.
I am light 
and nothing 
stops me from flying.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

7 years ago

What I liked about this one:-

1. Good positivity through and through
2. Feeling good about a life blessed with and making most of the time one has on hand without fear of death

Perhaps you couldn't find a title hence the three asterisks

One question...could this be written in Sunku form? In fact I was inspired to write one [something similar] after reading your poem
........................................................

R

Good to know you now have a title for this poem ...i liked it..fits the mood of freedom...i wonder if it could have been slightly altered as lungs full or even Oxygen...
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Sparrow

Loved this write and hope its fiction lol.
I is the old one, you have a long wait, but I know you will enjoy every day.
Take care out there,
Yours as always Ian..x

IRiz

Sparrow, dear friend. I am glad to hear from you.
It is as honest as written word can be.
It is exactly how I feel. But tomorrow I have to go to the lab because I was stupid to promise to finish the project. But it is for a good cause at least, not complete waste.
Thank you for reading. Have a nice evening.

Sparrow

How silly of this old guy not to read this piece properly.
I know you will have a great life as in your works I have seen the freedom in your spirit.
Never let anyone, or anything inhibit your ways, it would be like putting a butterfly in a jar..
You take care and spread that joy you carry , and never worry about things you cannot know.
If you should meet dull people let them pass with a smile as you probably do.
Take care we need poets with a great life force here, Yours as always Ian..x

IRiz

What an inspiring message! Thank you.
I was rock climbing with a group of amazing sportsmen and I was energized by the beauty of nature and by the feeling of being accepted even if I am just a beginner. But maybe that is a key to happiness to have a beginner's mind?

Sparrow

I read a lot of your works on your site and the pics with them were balanced well.
Know that you are responsible for your own pathway there are some that can make it hard, and others that will keep it clear, this is life as it follows us around and within us.
I hope you carried out that project, attitude is the key to being of settled ways.
Now that I am in my 77th year, I can talk of many things that have been on my pathway, also sound out reasons for doing things, and letting life follow so many probability tracts.
I write many fictional works as a reflection of the things I see in others, sometimes my age becomes heavy, in that I only wish I had some of those years back again to take other tracts.
Lost many friends in war, and through loss of contact but that is through moving around so much, the odd friend became more, and I would have loved to tarry a while, but we make our choices as you will find out, and in finding out just learn to live, never waste a moment in regret it is a way to cloud your vision.
Well it is Sunday or it's just past Sunday, you have a lovely time, the life that you have can be a joy to so many so no waste!!
Take care out there and it is good to walk with you some times, Yours, Sparrow..

Sparrow

In March as it closed I became one year older, it is not mentioned now, the next mention will be by his Majesty whoever it may be in 2042 lol.
Take care out there and keep commenting on the works of the Sparrow to keep him calm as he journeys on.