Joan Rolls
Joan Rolls
Oct 03, 2015

Free Spririt

Bold of spirit, true of heart,
strength of mind, a place to start.
Striving onwards, look not back,
gaining always what you lack.
Forage in an empty room,
return again to mother's womb.
Searching in an open field,
finding more than life can yield.
Remembering only surface knowledge,
digging deeper, finding courage.
Worry not, for in your hands,
lies the power to understand.
Come to the plane of the knowing,
be engulfed by the sphere of truth.
Keep your free spirit a flowing,
don't seek the material truth.
Fly like the gulls over oceans,
be calm as the sky at night.
Be devoid of any hindering notions,
and prepare for the land of the light.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I wrote this 36 years ago, I was 24 at the time. Looking at all the old stuff brings back memories, good and bad. Mostly seems like childish ramblings now!

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: myall lakes australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The lyrics of songs inspire me most these days

More from this author

Comments

Sparrow

A great welcome to Neopoet, good to see someone else has many bits from a few years ago lol.
We have many workshops here and some may be a great use to you.
I have bits I call them from when I was 15 some I tweak up to modernise them.
Anyway a good write there and I look forward to many more,
Yours Ian..

weirdelf

very good poetry.
Whilst there are a few minor flaws of scansion they can easily be fixed. I will go into details with suggestions if you would like.
I am utterly intrigued to see what you write now, with 30 years of life, experience and (hopefully) wisdom [grins] in between.
I posted my first poem "The Wave", written at age 12 here https://www.neopoet.com/node/3543
You already have great worcraftsmanship so, no pressure, but I expect great things.

alidzain

HWelcome! I wonder if it will be better if you break this piece into stanzas instead of just one. It kinda looks like a word atm to me (just my opinion, not sure about the rest). Still, I must agree its well-written.

Alid

alidzain

Welcome! I wonder if it will be better if you break this piece into stanzas instead of just one. It kinda looks like a word atm to me (just my opinion, not sure about the rest). Still, I must agree its well-written.

Alid

R

raj

9 years 6 months ago

Hello and Welcome to Neopoet Joan

I can't believe you wrote this poem written 36 ears ago and call it as a rambling which it certainly is not...if that is rambling...i should hide my face because i do not write even half as good as you do...we have a lot to look forward to for your poems which you would be posting...

I only felt that you could have split the poem into 4 verse stanzas...may be you have a reason for not doing so...

Regards,

R

After reading this poem and last few words about it, I read your profile Joan which tells me that you have lot of poetry within you awaiting release after a long gap of not writing being caught up with life's ways....so let it bubble out now with no holds barred...

Regards,

R

raj

9 years 6 months ago

We have some very skillful poets from your land, Judyanne, Weirdelf (Jess), Jayne, to name a few.. at leisure read their poems and you will know why I say this....looks like there is one more from down under ready to take wings here...

Warm regards,