scribbler
Jul 27, 2012
This poem is part of the workshop:

Rhyme Crimes

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FREAKIN' RHYMES! (rhyme crimes fun write)

These rhymes can really be a pain
when I sit down to write
perhaps it isn't worth the gain
have the free versers got it right?

Searching my brain for the word
which avoids that sing-song sound
should I use endured, inured or turd?
decisions make hollow head pound

Then there are rhymes merely near
but how near is close enough?
each time I use near rhyme I fear
that it still sounds a bit Too off

And those sneaky mid line rhymes
which can be hid in a verse
even at the start sometimes
leavin' us to rant and curse

All this swirling in my head
challenges to write in rhyme
maybe I should scribe blank verse instead
would that really be a crime?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this stuff is supposed to be Fun lol

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

PRECIOUSLYSET1

No crimes only sublimely put words
yes, absurd it may seem
just think of the gleam in their eyes
as they realise
the sky is as high as your dreams supply

why deny a reply thats so easily provided
I rely on my time always divided
uninvited guests
invading little pests
never settle unless
your being put to rest
at best

Apologies for that outburst
! hope u dont mind but i simply wrote exxactly
what came to my mind when reading ur rhyme
thats kinda my "thing" lol
Thank u for that stimulating rhythming rhyme of reason!
More please! ;^)

S

Just a little something posted for the rhyme crimes shop. thanks for dropping by...........stan

judyanne

‘Searching my brain for the right word’
you have already used ‘right’ in the previous stanza
you actually don’t need it here anyway
simply ‘Searching my brain for the word’ would suffice

great internal rhyme in this second stanza..

‘too’ in the third stanza doesn’t need to be capitalised

a fun read – lol rhyme rules
but you do have me a little confused with your claim of this being eastern form?

love judy
xxx

S

I agree upon review with dropping "right". But I'm gonna leave Too capitalized for emphasis. And every once in a while I purposely mislabel a poem as to type just to see if anybody notices. Congrats! by having noticed you just won a free membership in my rhyme patterns shop lol............stan