I journey indiscriminately.
Might I explode,
[implode]
find gravity
in a dash of
cognition;
wrap within my gradient wind
that pithy countenance against glass
that waits
pressed for recognition
behind clouded panes?
Dare I set an avenue
paved for my own feet
veiled or bare?
Last Few Words: , , , Free verse is a form of poetry which refrains from meter patterns, rhyme patterns, or any other musical pattern. Source Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Thank you so much. Wow.
Thank you so much. Wow. What a wonderful compliment. ~Pamela
Thank you.
Your comment really made my morning. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece. I practice with free verse because I do struggle with it. Thank you again. I am pleased you see improvement. ~Pamela
Free verse
I was emboldened to hear free verse is not your cup of tea. Aside from the fact I don't much care for it, the form gives me particular trouble. I was asked by a poet at another site (a challenge. I hate that) to write a six to eight line poem in iamb without rhyme. How hard can that be? What an incredible, cosmos changing disaster. It was like trying to speak without using my tongue. The poem was hideous. I think it must be genetic.
I didn't like this one as well as the others so far, but the language is superlative. (This next is not meant as an insult)...My favorite politicians to listen to are those who can quite literally speak eloquently for hours without ever saying anything. Most people are put off by it, but I consider it a demonstration of superior language skills. My only difficulty with this poem was comprehension. I'm just not sure I "got" it. But it is beautiful to listen to. That I know you would write nothing without purpose and meaning, I'm aware that I simply missed it somewhat. So, technically, I have to say it is a fine poem and I liked it. I just don't know why.
wesley
Thank you Wesley
This is a weak free verse from me so again, you see it for what it is. Great language use but - what on earth?
And I read it thinking - what was I trying to say here?
It needs work and work I will give it.
What I like is your honesty and I appreciate it so much.
Thank you again. ~Pamela