a stalk of grass,
a spritely kitten,
at play with a gentle breeze
such enchanting simplicity
I can now only envy
as I trudge through
the density of mind
Jun 09, 2013
Forever Lost
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
A Jumble
That from you seems to make sense, and damn it I can't see or think why lol.
Out there, there are many so simple things,
that can become a universe,
as a face in the clouds that never dulls a day,
Yours Ian, coming out to play
Hi, Ian
this is not about what we can see, but rather what we have become. I originally wrote "envy" iinstead of "glimpse" ( line 5 )
does that make it more sensible to you?
your input is much appreciated
Al
These things are never lost the simplicity of being is part of our inner self.
What we have become is our own faults but we have to learn somehow , and to enhance our soul to another level on its journey to perfection.
I think that you inadvertently wrote it as you felt not as the theme dictated.
Maybe your helper wanted you to read it again, yes I understand that Envy could have been there instead of a lost feeling.
As we become older we change our views on many things and our interpretation becomes modified.
I still liked it, which ever face it showed me lol, Yours Ian.T
Al
This reads really well now and there is a new thing just shining through.
Yours Ian.T
thanks Ian
I like it better myself... thanks for the nudge