Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Apr 05, 2022
This poem is part of the challenge:

Neopet Random Challenge # 14

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follow me pt# 2 by: eddy styx

follow me pt#2 as requested by: Geezer

on the river bank
where you stand,
quavering
calling out my name.
while I, high on the rocks,
gleefully play my game.
I hear a 'gator
slide out of the water
climbing on to the bank,
I know you hear it too.
the tension grows thick,
I hear you holler
for help not coming,
your voice sounding sick
with tears of fright building up.
I know your throat
is tightening,
closing up with terror
soon you will
not be able to scream,
right up until
that final moment
when his claws shred
and jaws clench,
spelling out
your final destruction.
I've heard you have
a twin sister,
it will be just the thing
to pay a call upon her,
perhaps suggest
a quiet stroll...

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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Comments

Geezer

is alright, though a little wordy. LoL

I do believe that the line that goes [for help not forthcoming]
reads a little pretentious, I would just say: "I hear your holler for help... not coming"

You have a typo, just the [thing]

Good all around piece of work and a fitting part 2 for this little saga.
Hugs from the boys, ~ Geez.
.