With time I understood
What it was I gave there
In the bewildered dark
As my innocence closed her eyes
Shed her maiden skin
And rose above the canopy
Her released wings unfolding
Waving farewell to me
Forever
***
Nov 02, 2022
The First Time
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lovely poem
Hi Lavender
I really liked the brevity, the statement and the sentiment. I assume you are a born woman - I wonder how a born man/boy would have described the same event. I'm too old to remember !
Hello!
While writing, I was wondering the same thing! Thank you so much for reading and your supportive comments!
Lavender
Wow
Perfect!
Hi, Rula,
Thank you so much for your generous comment! I appreciate it when you help me out!
L
Amazing
Absolutely beautiful! Great job!
Hello, RoseBlack,
I'm always glad to see you stop by. Thank you very much!
L
I thought about...
what was said, about what was it like for a man/boy and I remembered a poem I wrote a few years ago, about that very thing!
It is called "What I Did That Summer" The next to last stanza describes it perfectly for me.
I thought we were electrocuted
We'd died and gone to heaven
The haze of after-shock
Holding close.
This poem brought that back to me with absolute clarity!
Loved it! ~ Geez.
.
Hello, Geezer!
Thank you for sharing your amazing stanza! Loved it!
Thanks, too, for reading and commenting. This brief poem was kinda dear to me.
L
I'll check out "What I Did That Summer" in your work!
This poem reminds me of a young girls exploration
her mom asked her
where had you been
she replies
LOST VEGAS
OH you mean
LAS VEGAS
sweety
she smiled
no mom
I LOST IT THERE !
This poem must be selected by GEE FOR ANTHRO WHAT.....
Hello, Lovedly!
You always make me smile...but this made me laugh! Thank you so much!
L
ha ha LAV
I could hear you
despite being deaf
as your voice ricochets...
from hill to hill
I’m sharing this with a friend
I’m going to work on one. I was born biologically male and identify as such so I’m very cisgender. My pronoun is Dude, Duder, El Duderino. Lol. But I have very special memories surrounding my first experience. Honestly I don’t know how I didn’t write about it yet.
I don’t think if I read this poem five years ago it would hit me like this did. It’s very beautiful but it’s sort of sad. I often see this theme connected to a loss of innocence. That makes me a little sad. When I hear innocence I think the opposite is guilt. Sex and guilt are welded into one thing for me because of some childhood trauma stuff. I’ve let most of that go and when I did all these different feelings arose and they’re very beautiful now that the dark specter of shame isn’t clouding my thoughts about past experiences.
Obviously a huge fan and adoring reader,
Tim
Aw...thanks, Tim,
You bring up an excellent point that crossed my mind when writing this...the guilt. I think in my younger days, there was the guilt brought on by my Catholic rearing. But I hope this piece is far beyond that. I felt a little sad watching innocence float away, but yet, she (I wanted to personify my innocence) was so peaceful about it all. That's why I chose "farewell" instead of "goodbye." It seemed the most freeing and kind. I'm so glad you are past that point, too. Poetry is such a wonderful way to get to know yourself, at least it is for me.
Thank you, my friend!
L
Hello, Alan,
Definitely a significant moment in life, which is just now finding its way into a poem.
Thank you for reading!
L