Horror
Feelings in waves
Rising, falling each hour
Consuming our very being
Terror
Sep 17, 2023
Fear
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Horror
Feelings in waves
Rising, falling each hour
Consuming our very being
Terror
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Fear" utilizes a concise and impactful structure, adhering to the Cinquain style. This style, with its emphasis on syllable count and stress pattern, can be a challenging format to work within, and the poem does a commendable job of adhering to these constraints.
The choice of words in the poem is evocative, with "Horror" and "Terror" serving as potent bookends. The use of these strong, emotionally charged words effectively conveys the theme of fear. However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of this theme. Fear is a complex emotion, and while the words "Horror" and "Terror" capture its intensity, they do not fully encapsulate its intricacies.
The line "Feelings in waves" is a strong metaphor, suggesting the ebb and flow of fear. However, the following line, "Rising, falling each hour", seems to echo this sentiment, making it somewhat redundant. A more effective approach might be to use this line to add a new dimension to the metaphor, perhaps by exploring the consequences or causes of these waves of fear.
The line "Consuming our very being" effectively communicates the overwhelming nature of fear. However, it might be more impactful if it were more specific. For instance, the poem could explore how fear consumes one's thoughts, actions, or perceptions.
In terms of rhythm and meter, the poem could benefit from a more consistent stress pattern. The first and last lines have a strong, rhythmic quality, but the middle lines feel somewhat disjointed in comparison.
Overall, the poem effectively communicates the intensity of fear, but could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of this theme, as well as a more consistent rhythm and meter.
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Nice job...
of writing a Cinquain, I'd forgotten all about this form and I am pleased that you have picked it to try. Great job! ~ Geez.
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