docmaverick
docmaverick
Jan 23, 2014

A Familiar Shadow

l had a familiar shadow
surprise me with such a grace,
that I beamed out-loud in silence with a grin;

I owned that fragile moment
that Time cannot erase,
and was dealt a sort of comfort from within.

'Twas good to see your smile again,
'twas good to hear your laugh,
l deemed it so, and said so after all;

then, l calmed my racing thoughts
(and cut confusion down to half),
eliminating my propensity to fall.

l always felt a wee, tad, bit
like l were in a trance,
you mesmerized to the point of no return;

l never will apologize
for asking for a dance,
let me know though, for l still have time to learn.

Quite possibly, you can make the time
to proper...tutor me,
l'm quick to learn so tell me, what you say?

Bear in mind of my short pockets
l'd be forever in your debt,
strict attention, is about all that l can pay!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: One more tryst with a Honeycomb. Smitten is only half of the pair....("set", if you will).

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

11 years 3 months ago

I like where you go with imagination doc. This is a piece I wish I've written but I don't have this amount of imagination to compose one alike. You hold my breath from the very beginning to the end. I very much like the closing romantic stanza.
Very well done!!

PS Why do I think you need an "I" Stanza 1 Line 1?

docmaverick

...greatly honored, and hugely appreciative for your kind assessments. l just finished a slight re-write, and edit for flow. What say you now?

than, again;
doc.