Breakinglogic
Breakinglogic
Oct 05, 2021

falling stars

 

 

Another shooting star

I refrained from wishing,

having watched it

disappear

 

 

About This Poem

Last Few Words: An older piece, distilled into just these four lines. Still struggling to write these days.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: California, USA

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Comments

Geezer

your distillation, but am not sure that you didn't carry it too far. The gap between the the last word and the previous three, I think is too great. It makes it seem disconnected. Maybe a simple thing as lessening that white space will fix it? ~ Geez.
.

Breakinglogic

Hey geez,
I think you may be right.
And I also felt awkward about that space (now removed).

Thanks for stopping by:)

C

It's simple and to the point. Short poems are not easy (at least not for me) so I admire anyone who can do with seeming ease.

Catherine

E

This poem gives me a funny feeling because it is at once descriptive of a split second but then again the description of eternity - history is a pattern of timeless moments (Eliot) - All things must pass (Harrison).

Will