An eye for a heart

I sat ever so silently,
Not a whisper escaping my soul.
What's true-
Might not always be reality,
Nothing is ever built whole.
I watched the birds fly,
All across the deep azure-
Of the sky,
Circling in depth of my eyes-
And then I realized,
I was staring at an ocean.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I don't usually write short poems but I think I did justice with this.

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: india, jammu, j&k, IND

Comments

this is

small
but like an ocean man
you are born to sail
let your eyes be the oars

sorry

duplicated post
.

Duplicated ?

Hello avi

and a warm welcome to the Neo
I like this very much. I couldn't think of many things to suggest but a change in verb tense here as you have used past through out the piece.
Not a whisper [escaped] my soul
Hope you don't mind it.
Looking to read more of yours.

Aviis

A lovely write and really good to have you with us.
Hope that you can continue to be with us here your write has brought a fresh pen to this fold, I look forward to reading more of your works, Yours As always, Ian.T

I can't quite pin down why I like this so much

Sure, it is evocative, somehow a cross between a Japanese watercolour and the simple serenity of just being, yet it has that certain je ne sais quoi that lends it a picturesque, slightly surreal charm.
Sorry, I have nothing constructive to offer.