You cannot make a man ashamed
Without his conscience, a mate said
Moral rectitude imparts same
To know and do good from wrong
Echoes the voice of conscience within
Exam malpractice reigns in schools
Some know no way else than to bilk
Call it sorting, micro chipping
Played by both students and teachers
Values suffered setback at birth
Society sank in decadence
From the products of wrongful acts
Children who con their way all through
End up corrupt office holders
Wonder not on polluted system
Comments
Hi T.
I like this, I like what you're trying to convey, but I think that you should perhaps re-write it, with an eye to using words that are a little less dispassionate, and more emotional. For example, "malpractice", which carries with it little in the way of strong emotion, and strong emotion is what you need, for this piece, because of the subject and its consequences.
Also, the last line is difficult to understand. I get it, what you're saying here, corrupt children become corrupt leaders, but I don't think its clear enough.
I seem to recall that you're Nigerian, so this poem of yours makes all kinds of sense, to me!
less dispassionate...
Thank you for your profound comments and your time on the piece. I get your point, but I did have stronger words, they were not just there in my head also I was limited by want of meters. I couldn't keep quiet either, this practice has eaten deep into the fabric of our society.
Thanks and best wishes.
t