EVE edit

EVE

A little blue sky
a little sunshine
some clouds strolling by
a day to be alive.

But Eve is gone.
Passed just yesterday
time to cry
time to pray
time to mourn a friend,

though pain seems to end
it lingers still
in the heart

a little blue sky
a little sunshine
some clouds strolling by
a day to be alive

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

Country/Region: USA

This is intriguing in a way. The double meaning of the title gives the reader a food for thought.

Thanks, Rula.

joe

good one.

Alid

I guess I hit the mark from time to time. Thank you, my friend.

joe

and always shall
we all are here to glow
only coz of you Joe

You have a kind heart, dear friend,

jow

share and believe
twill lend more life
more air
than a simple hello
twill not do
so 4 folks like you i care
read my poetry

'half life

and then you will see
what i did once
when I was at sea
you now see

seems to me to be contradictory to itself
I would say more like
'Pain diminishes
to linger sweetly
in the heart'

- just the way I read it Joe

I love the imagery of the first stanza, and its repetition at the end
love judy
xxx

Thanks, Judyann, I needed to rhyme END with FRIEND.

Though pain may seem to end
Still it lingers sweetly
In the heart

just me of course Joe
But it seems to me that if pain ends, it doesn't linger...

Love judy
xxx

ok Made a change. :)

joe