An eerie feel follows me
But what would you know
Unable to shake free
And cornered by my foe
Shadows haunt my rear view
Crawling up my back
I see what I thought true
I overthink and crack
Always too lazy to speak up
My meals not so appeasing
Homework and a coffee cup
My friends are “only teasing”
But a smile I plaster
To help them on with their day
Or shut up faster
As no one knows the price i pay
Comments
Suppp
Loveee this can relate to hard
good to writ in rhyme
It sticks with the reader as they read. Nice feel
I would change
My meals not so "appealing"...makes more sense
and
Or shut up faster
none knows the price i pay ..the meter fits, yours is too long, breaks the pace.
rhymes have so much diversity, you and to hunt to find one that works..."But I plaster" is forced to me, associated with the act of making a wall...to plaster...I would play around and say the same thing differently.
Nice little rant...
to get over that nasty feeling that nothing matters. Here, we all matter. I just wanted to say; that I think you will do well here. Welcome and attend some workshops, have some fun and look around and steal ideas from everywhere. [No, I don't mean steal their work], I mean if you find a style or method that suits you, go ahead and emulate it, if you get an idea from something you see, use it. That is what this site is all about. You did well, take your time and think about any changes and use them if you like them. ~ Geezer.
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