Killer
Murdering
Gastronomics
Soulful
Southern Soles
Steeped in soy sauce
Arranged
Artfully
Assuming Airs
Feb 19, 2018
This poem is part of the workshop:
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form
Eating Well... [Sunku Workshop]
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your disturbing scream.
It is not Eastern structure, the name Sunku emphasizes the connection of the form with Eastern aesthetic tradition. How we develop it is up to us global citizens of virtual site.
It is a version of free form. Free form is not specifically defined, it leaves room for experimenting and creating pleasant patterns.
Back to your poem. I think you very successfuly used the form for screaming.
I am still shoked and slightly nauseous.
If you move the third stanza in the middle you could make the reader see the first letters of your lines create another rude word.
You have created a motivating poem.
It could make world vegetarian.
I saw...
the opportunity to make that [rude] word, but decided that I would keep it as is, to maintain the integrity of the poem. Killer is an artist. A gourmet chef. If you have a mind to become really nauseous and vegetarian, you should read more of Killer's exploits. ~ Geezer.
.
I agree with you.
I agree with you.
I did read some of them. You are a skillful torturer. Honestly, I can't wait until you change your subject. Your killer eats you alive.
Killer takes Hiatus...
but he always comes back. he went walk-about last year and I wasn't sure if he would return, but here he is. Before Killer, I was not a happy camper; now I can release all my anger and frustrations through him and not worry about repercussions. Neat huh?
Killer cannot go away
He is an outlet, a blend of sadistic humor and gore. I would have to bring my dark muse out to find him.
Killer is never...
far away, just use the scream of violence, like the Bat-Sign and he will fly to your aid!
~ Gee.
.