Far too many times my ship floats on
troubled seas of long past memories
haunting my nights until the dawn
might have beens which taunt and tease
Wide awake in never ending night
regrets replaying through my head
as cold and restless lunar light
spills through windows to my bed
Thinking of my long and twisting trail
too often I chose the wrong branch
but as eastern sky begins to pale
I prepare for yet another chance
Last Few Words: I've gotta stop staying up so late lol............stan
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Stan
Your journey's are well written up, there are always regrets, thought of making a wish list for myself, so that I can see the things I have done and still would like to do, but don't you think it would be too long and impossible to do, because our Ego's would put impossibility on the pages..
To regret doing something is now gone, and there are many things we did do, now we are older we must see the things within our reach and touch them, the others can be left off of the wish list,
Yours Ian.T
Hi Ian
About the best anybody can hope for is that regrets are outnumbered by accomplishments. And for yet one more day to try to get things right lol.............stan
Stan
Just a PS:- From now, just let all the things you do be right for you and those around you, there is no more we can do, the past is carved in stone it is only now we can change, Yours as always , Ian.T
I liked your...
rythmic sort of SS, it put me in mind of a tired; what's it all about mood? Then trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed! LOL Nice work all the way around. ~ Gee
Hi Gee
Thanks. SS is not Always a bad thing lol. And the mood you captured is exactly what I wanted to convey. Appreciate your visit as always............stan