Walk with me in my dreams forever.
coming running in the rain and
cover your head with your yellow raincoat.
Like the sun, shining in the rain it keeps you dry
floating above the water that splashes from your feet.
I love the soft warm glow of your color and
the sound of your short fast breathing.
It is in my dreams and like a movie replaying
brings back all the joy of first love.
Never losing its brilliance or color
warming my heart and filling my soul.
So our love is like a picture that never fades
and enriches life.
Sep 25, 2016
Dream Love
About This Poem
Last Few Words: some love last forever in the heart of the receiver irrespective of the giver!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
This reads like a lovely
This reads like a lovely dreamscape. I feel you could have selected your words a lot more carefully, but the overall effect is still warm and romantic.