Digging A History.... A sonnet

fruit

or fruits !

Having asked you to come back to us, I'm afraid to critique this poem. My love for the sonnet form does not allow for anything less than sever, some may think harsh criticism. Good to see you again and this is by no means a bad submission.

I have parsed this for you

while DIGG | ing in | the sur | ROUND - ings | to - DAY
i WOND | ered WHAT | could MAKE | the DIFF | er - ENCE.
the OL | ive TREE | the ONE | that SHADES | a - WAY,
had AL | ways BEEN | my GRAND | pa's PREF | er - ENCE
for LIFE'S | RUNN - ing | THERE in | its E' | er GREEN | LEAVES,
pre - SERV | ing CHAR | it - Y | in ROUND | ed FRUITS.
i SAW | MAG - na | NIM - it | Y WEAV | ing EVES (Note your typo with magnanimity)
and GO | ing DEEP | with the | ex - TEND | ing ROOTS.
i HEARD | the CALLS | of the | GOLDEN - en | DEC - ades,
and FELT | the WARMTH | COM - ing | IN - to | my EYES,
i GOT | a TORCH | of LOVE | that NEV | er FADES,
but SHINES | to LIGHT | en UP | the SEV | en SKIES

and YET | a LOT | is STILL | a MYS | ter - Y,
in SUCH | a TREE | of a | GLEAM HIS | tor - Y

You will see that some meter is out, and verse 5 has 5 and a 1/2feet xxxx

Lovely visuals... clever theme
I enjoyed reading this, and will obviously enjoy it more once you have worked some on the iambic
Love judy
xxx

While digging in the surroundings today
The emphasis goes wrong at “the”
I wondered what could make the difference.
The olive tree, the one that shades away,
had always been my grandpa's preference.
For life's running there in its e'ergreen leaves,
again, “LIFE’S” and RUNing
both demand top spot.
preserving charity in rounded fruits.
I saw magnaminity weaving eves,
and going deep with the extending roots.
I heard the calls of the golden decades,
“of the” want to take a single beat
and felt the warmth coming into my eyes,
“WARMTH” and “COMing both want emphasis
I got a torch of love- that never fades,
but shines to lighten up the seven skies.

And yet a lot is still a mystery,
in such a tree of agleam history.

While digging in surroundings of today
I wondered what could make the difference.
The olive tree, the one that shades away,
had always been my grandpa's preference.
For running there is life's evergreen leaves,
preserving charity in rounded fruits.
I saw magnanimity weaving eves,
and going deep with the extending roots.
I heard the calls of golden rich decades,
and felt the warmth come up into my eyes,
I got a torch of love- that never fades,
but shines to lighten up the seven skies.

And yet a lot is still a mystery,
in such a tree agleam in history.

..we cut trees down....
but my Chloe loved em.climbed pines..
when i was her daddy raising her....three..
and then ATAYA age fourteen
SHE loved trees...hoisted her into one
took photos purple dress
sweetmans gardens

if the tree is sitting on history it provides shades
a young man grows old with tree.
I hoisted my young muse into that tree..took photos

yah.........im sure much is beneath it but as much is above
it........living shit goes far as value as dead shit......

Your newer version sorts out all criticisms and then some. This is now a poem that anyone could be proud of.

Perfect 'till
I HEARD | the CALLS | of DIG | ni - FIED | DEC - ades
(Maybe make this a feminine line to avoid finding new rhyme....
Lol - I know you don't believe in they're being part of the 'perfect' sonnet .... but Shakespeare-the-Boss-Bard used them a lot.....
.... and I see you have used them here in verses 2 and 4.... well, you know I like them for pause effect ....so I feel no problem with the rhythm. ....
Suggestion - I heard the calls of stately, cultured decades...)

and too
app - ROA | ching, they'd | SUMM - on | up GOLD | en DAYS.
(Suggestion - approaching, summoning up golden days ...)

Great write Rula
Lol I'm still minus muses. ..
Love judy xxx