Death of emotion!
To quell the winds
of wanton cries.
My retreat to darkness,
accompanies my denial.
Enfolded there,
in its blackened arms.
I’m no longer abused,
by your words or charms!
Take me now,
to that lonely place.
No longer encumbered,
by the human race.
Whose lips are replete,
with conjured notions.
which are indiscrete
without true emotion!
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Death of emotion!" exhibits a strong use of imagery and rhythm, which aids in creating an immersive experience for the reader. The use of phrases such as "quell the winds of wanton cries" and "retreat to darkness" effectively convey a sense of despair and isolation.
However, the poem could benefit from a clearer thematic progression. While the first half of the poem effectively communicates a sense of emotional death and retreat, the second half seems to shift focus to a critique of the human race. This shift could be made smoother with transitional phrases or imagery that bridges the two themes.
Additionally, the last line "without true emotion" seems to contradict the title and the theme of the poem. If the poem is about the death of emotion, it might be more consistent to end with a line that reinforces this theme, rather than suggesting the existence of "true emotion".
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of poetic devices. While the poem effectively uses rhyme and rhythm, the incorporation of other devices such as metaphor, simile, or alliteration could add depth and complexity to the poem.
Overall, the poem shows promise and with some refinement, could effectively convey its intended theme and emotion.
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Death of Emotion!
Yes...I can feel the death, or at least the wish for the death of emotion. Some really nice language and choice of words - quell, wanton cries, blackened arms, encumbered...I can feel the frustration and agony.
Thank you!
L
L
I wish no longer to walk in the dark!
But the fear that I feel always plays it's part.
Desensitization seems the only way. To
dampen the fear and anxiety inside me.
Good job, I liked your poem.
Good job, I liked your poem. Deep and dark. The way you give the wind personification in these two lines:
To quell the winds
of wanton cries.
opens up the layers of the poem. Well done.
Ruby :) xx
Your poem resonates
Ruby and Koki,
Thanks. This one is for those who walk in darkness
and no longer fear its emotional affect. Until I walked
in fear year after year, i could not quite decide what
to do about it, but alas I still walk in darkness. The sun
breaking through only occasionally!