t. reflexion
t. reflexion
Jul 02, 2011

THE DEAD HAVE NOTHING

Strides we make in life’s long journey
The things we acquire, who will own them?
When the sun sets, bringing darkness to bear
On glitzy cars, houses and fêted moments
When tints of candle light are left behind
And the eyes opened to see in silent night

Some may say, the dead have nothing
When material reality is a by-product
Of the coming and going from this world
Others may say the dead live in our recalls
Had names, and if not, just call them things
For something can not come from nothing

The dead have nothing if in nothing they came
For dying is the exit of a lonely traveler
Coming not from nothing, as an infant
Even for a few minutes, draws in air
The invigorating life force, seemingly
From nothing, yet seeking to express self

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: NGA

Favorite Poets: Inspired by an article in an old manuscript

More from this author

Comments

t. reflexion

Thank you, as always I appreciate your interest, I meant 'exit', the 's' go in there to disgrace me and without my permission, how stubborn this 's' can be, I will lock this very 's' away for life. once again, thanks and best wishes.

tr

Geezer

Geezer

13 years 9 months ago

replace the word [Has] everywhere in the poem; with [have]. I like the idea of what you are saying, that the dead don't have anything, "You can't take it with you". I am very much if favor of using ? marks, in poetry, it is sometimes hard to know if a line is a question otherwise. ~ Gee

t. reflexion

Thank you, I have replaced the word as suggested. Though the title of the piece says the dead have nothing, the deeper spiritual side of the last stanza disagrees, linking the dead to its source and the intangible essence which constitute the life force and the experiences it gathered while on this plane. Best wishes.
tr