When I was young, I'd often daydream,
Of places far away I'd like to be,
Where I could explore and find adventure,
Where I could do all that I could see.
I'd dream of forests filled with life,
Of mountains and valleys that stretched wide,
Of rivers and streams and oceans so deep,
Of creatures and sights I'd never tried.
I'd soar through the skies, I'd swim in the sea,
I'd explore all the secrets of the Earth,
I'd become fearless and brave in my heart,
Each challenge I'd take on with mirth.
But now that I'm older, my dreams are still there,
Though they often get buried in life,
But when I'm feeling a little bit down,
I'll remember good dreams not the strife
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Day Dreams" presents a clear and consistent theme of imagination and adventure, which is effectively communicated through the use of vivid imagery and a consistent rhyme scheme.
However, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of poetic devices. For instance, the use of metaphors, similes, or personification could add depth and complexity to the imagery.
The structure of the poem is relatively consistent, with each stanza containing four lines. However, the rhythm of the poem could be improved. The meter is not consistent throughout, which can disrupt the flow of the poem when read aloud.
The poem's language is straightforward and accessible, which is effective in communicating the poem's theme. However, the use of more sophisticated or unusual vocabulary could add interest and further engage the reader.
The poem's ending effectively brings the theme full circle, returning to the idea of dreams and their importance in the speaker's life. However, the final line could be reworked to have a stronger impact. The phrase "I'll remember good dreams not the strife" is a bit awkward and could be clarified for better understanding.
Overall, the poem effectively communicates its theme and presents a vivid picture of the speaker's dreams and imagination. With some refinement in the use of poetic devices, vocabulary, and rhythm, the poem could be further improved.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Clentin
Clentin
This was a beautiful, peaceful writing. I loved it!
Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and your comments. I appreciate it very much.
The older I get the more i tend to review my life, its joys and sometimes the sorrows. I have had a great life, a great family, and great health. I just let my mind think about many things.
Thank you
Clentin
What a peaceful and kind individual.