Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Jul 05, 2012

Dawning

Dawning

Your shadow draws shorter devouring itself
as sweet morning light wanes into noon,
that time of day when all seeming
loses it's resplendent illusions
and the fairy magic of twilight
is swept under the vast carpet of day.
Echoes of your fading smiles
and midnight eyes burning into memory
are lost in the horizon of introspection.

Your lonely soul now stranded and confined
in the wastelands of the nowhere of in-between
speaks to mine of darkest isolation
and it's need of resolution's saving grace
consolation in a solution of ultimate absolution.
I am withered and dying in the dawning
of sorrow's revelation that I'm not the "one."
(Not your special someone who can save you.)
All the wanting in my world will not make it so,
with all my bleeding heart I release
my clinging hold upon your beauty

About This Poem

Last Few Words: another poem for the manuscript "Mirror rorriM" your help is appreciated, Thanks, Cat

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 9 months ago

Just a lovely write all the way through,
I was wondering if the plural Smiles could be Smile as it echoes, means it is more than one of that image... Just a "S" mall thought for perfection lol,
Yours as always Ian.T

Candlewitch

I am always intrigued by your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them with me. This poem, I wrote about an old friend (male) who wanted more than friendship with me. Unfortunately he was not yet recovered from a love relationship gone sour. We remained friends but lost touch with eachother. I still think of him from time to time and wish him the best that life has to offer.

love, Cat

loved

loved

12 years 9 months ago

It just dawned on me....

that I'm no where near the dawn,
perhaps the starlit night
may welcome me,
ere I'm left forlorn

the twilight breaks in between
me
and
your breath-taking poetry
about the horizon that's me...

loved

wonderful Cat
and
thanks for the tear ,
for my friend..

...''where is the poetic justice
you all portray
couldn’t we have walked by eternity
together, the same happy way…
alas none can perhaps,
so I stand watching
in front of the mirror
searching for her…

S

Rich imagery reinforces the yearning within this poem. The only thing that made me stumble was "swept under the vast carpet of day" which seems a bit contradictory with itself. Maybe something like "is smothered by the harsh light of day'? or something similar. Of course it may well be your intent to have this part of the poem twist our perceptions in which case well done.......................stan

judyanne

love it

just a typo
'loses it’s resplendent illusions and the magic of twilight' - (its – no apostrophe)

'Your lonely soul now stranded and confined
in the wastelands of the nowhere of in-between
speaks to mine of darkest isolation
and it's need of resolution's saving grace
consolation in a solution of ultimate absolution.
I am withered and dying in the dawning
of sorrow's revelation that I'm not the "one."
- love this – great word usage

love judy
xxx

Candlewitch

praise from you and my whole day goes right! glad you liked it. I'll fix the error. thank you, so very much!

love, Cat