Under a glitter splashed night-time sky
We sway and strut our stuff
There is no world around us
We two and that's enough
The rhythm of the music slow
The rustle of your dress
I in slacks and whitest shirt
We both looked our best
The band played a Latin beat
We danced on through the night
I never wanted to stop
My heart held you so tight
Tick tick tock tick tick...
Tick tick tock tick tick...
We stepped and swirled the dances
Your lips not far from mine
I was thinking of the after
We were drinking too much wine
The dawn was slowly breaking
I heard it crashing in
We couldn't go on forever
I never thought about our sin
Now, there is no time
We've danced the night away
But, we'll always have this memory
For some sad and lonely day
Tick tick tock tick tick...
Tick tick tock tick tick...
Comments
Thank you...
Actually, you gave me an alternate title;how does Tangled In The Night sound? Thanks for catching that typo, I missed it during the preview. I don't recall where I got the idea from, but it gnawed at me, until I did something about it. I guess this one will do it for a while, in the romance department. I feel the need to be funny and do something off- beat. ~ Geez.
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Hi Geezer
liked the sights and sounds the verses created with choice of words...
enjoyed the read...
I tried hard...
to create the mood. I am glad that I succeeded. Thank you. ~ Geez.
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hello Sir Gee,
the meaning of the title takes on a new meaning as the flow and grace of the poem comes together, ending on a somber note. very well done!
*hugs, Cat
Hello Cat...
I tried to choose the right words and rhythm to create the mood. I listened to a lot of Latin-type music for the right pattern to emerge. I don't remember the name of the dance now, but once I heard the beat; I couldn't get it out of my head and although I listened to more after that, it was the one I went back to. It just kept ticking in my mind. Thank you for your kind words. ~ Gee.
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Dear Geez. I love the
Dear Geez. I love the movement and imagery in your poem. I think the title is fine, but others have given suggestions that may be better. Yes, we have those romantic memories to cheer us up during these shutdown months.
The content is clear and so is the rhythm and pace. No nits, only admiration and thank you for cheering me up. It's snowing again, so I can't take my daily walk, not because of the snow, but due to the amount of ice formed during the warmer weather this week.
All the best, Gracy
Oh My
my dear friend you have gone and done it again good gracious the is true beauty never knew you had it in you old man lol
I'm still...
on the fence about the title. I will see about it later. I am so happy to have cheered you up. I don't like the cold weather, but I love the snow. I can sit and watch a storm for hours. It's so peaceful. Be careful of that ice, I cracked a rib a couple of years ago, right on my own sidewalk. My fault for not wearing the proper shoe, I suppose. Stay warm and on your feet. ~ Geez.
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If you could...
see me blush. Awwww shucks, it's nothin'. Yes, I will keep it on the shelf. You're welcome. ~ Geez.
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hi dance king lol
here's some ideas you can think about :
Under a glitter splashed night-time sky
We sway and strut our stuff
There is no world around us
We two and that's enough
The rhythm of the music slows
The rustle of your dress
I in my slacks and best white shirt
We both looked our best
The band played a Latin beat
We danced on through the night
I never wanted it to stop
My heart held you so tight
Tick tick tock tick tick...
Tick tick tock tick tick...
We stepped and swirled through out dances
Your lips not far from mine
I was thinking of the after
We were drinking too much wine
The dawn was slowly breaking
I heard it crashing in
We couldn't go on forever
I never thought about our sin
Finally there is no time
We've danced the night away
But, we'll always have this memory
Come some sad and lonely day
Tick tick tock tick tick...
Just some minor things you are free to use or not as you want
Thanks...
I'll come back to them later after I get home tonight from shopping or maybe Sat. afternoon. [I'll be tired after shopping]. ~ Gee.
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I had some...
free time this morning and decided that I would look over what you gave me and make a couple of little changes. Thanks,~ Gee.
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