how.......
how can you do this to me?
isnt it bad enough you hurt me?
i forget you for a moment
........ im happy
but now i cant stop crying and im
trying
whatever this is it sucks
i push and push you out of my mind
yet you find a way back in.
i tell you its ok and im fine
truth is im not im far from it.
i hate feeling this way
if i knew this would be so hard
i would have stayd alone.
if i knew id fall for you this hard
i would have left it alone
but i didnt....
now im paying the price arnt i?
im waiting for this to end
will it ever?
i hope so because its too much
not being with you.
but i understand the choice you made
just wish things could change...
May 06, 2012
cycles of a teenage heart break </3
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I think you've expressed yourself really well here
Hiya, had to read this since my teenage son is just going through what sounds very similar, & suddenly he wont talk to me about it. I think writing about it is really good.
As a poem, it would appear it is definitely prose (have you followed anything from the recent workshop?), & that's perfectly ok. Might I suggest spell checking it? (sounds like a nag, I know!)
I think you've expressed yourself really well here, awful place to be emotionally & you have described it very clearly. The title is really good, & the ending is good in that it leads you to a slightly better place in terms of at least you are not bitter & you lead the reader to the sense that you accept where you are even if you don't like it, you know it'll probably change in time.
Hope your heart heals soon... I wish you comfort.
Cheers
Anni
hello
sorry for the late reply but thank you and will do :)