I can’t touch the curve of a rainbow
or use its’ colors to paint
or count the rain until it stops
Don’t be silly
But my heart is a foolish thing sometimes
and it thinks: “All you have to do is try.
The first thing you must do is reach.”
I felt the tender hues of your curves
as I tossed my umbrella aside,
counting all the rain I could, without fear
With wet reflections all around us
awash in swirling, bouncing colors
we began painting from this palette
so many stories without end
Last Few Words: Editing, editing, editing... a tweaked version of an earlier posted poem. Can't leave well enough alone I guess, LOL!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Yeah, its difficult to put
Yeah, its difficult to put some poems to bed so to speak, ( worth the effort isn't it )
I like the positivity of everything after the first stanza, its an uplifting poetic love poem,
though, the first stanza and "don't be silly' is somewhat of a downer telling me what you "can't" do.
Obi.
Thanks Obi! Among other
Thanks Obi! Among other things, I was trying to convey a journey from self-doubt to breaking the shackles of fear of failure at love, so a touch of "downer" seemed necessary. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts!
Best