Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Apr 26, 2022

The cryptic crook

I walk along an
abysmal
babbling brook .
and came
across a cold
cryptic crook .
Who looked
me up to
down .
And formed
frigid forlorn
frown . As his bloodied
malformed mouth
vented out a venial voice
of vulnerability . “ for we are
the crooks who creep
within the cracks
of this
withering world's
broken back .
For I wonder and ponder why
don’t we try?
What do we lack?
The courage
to face the fact
The knowledge
to act upon .
Is all our hope
gone ?
Sure you can
cry
you could even
die.
But as time
passes by
all tears will dry .
Leaving you like
me stuck still
wondering why .”

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde

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Comments

Candlewitch

you have a good start here, but I'd like to know more about the cryptic crook. I think you could develop his personality a bit. I like your poem and intriguing title.

*hugs, Cat

p.s.
I am glad to see that you are doing better!

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 12 months ago

My criticisms are that you should get rid of the punctuation at the end of the lines, except for the question marks.
Name your cryptic crook! Use the word venial instead of venerable. Venerable means respected and I'm sure that you don't mean that. Venial suits the mood much better. Otherwise, a very good write! I'm glad you are recovering from your surgery
and able to write. Good going. ~ Geez.
.