I never wanted to be like ridged things
I've seen them crumble and fall
Fractured and angry at their failure
Rather, like the trees
The branches sway and dance to meet the storms
The leaves fall and renew
They do this countless times
through the years
Until the fires come
And they will come
But I will arise and become
until the fires leave me ashes
Comments
hello my friend,
this is very good, I like the pacing and what it prods me to remember!
*hugs, Cat
p.s.
poetry happens when It happens ;)
*
Michael,
thank you for the book recommendation!
*hugs, Cat
*
I would have...
made an excuse that the line was long,
their registers were down or something other than
I HAD to write down this poem.
I understand your thinking,
I'm just not sure of how to express it.
A tree IS a solid thing, was the first thing I thought of.
Maybe you could say something like:
"I never wanted to be like [rigid] things"
I think that the words [gambol and spin] would more portray
an animal than a tree. How about [bend and shiver]?
Geez.
.
Thanks Geez! Really good
Thanks Geez! Really good suggestions. Rewrite in process in 3... 2... 1...
My pleasure...
I'm only trying to help. ~ Geez.
.