Through evoking words of ancestral wisdom,
Combining the emotion within the wills form,
We empower the actions of our sacred mission,
Upon a destiny to which our soul was sworn.
As the stars descend from the cosmic skies,
And a fire lights within our nature and heart,
A lone angel in heaven lets out his soul cries,
The twilight of the end times is now to start.
A goddess of inner courage and perfect love,
Contemplating the fate written upon the page,
Casts down the fallen angels from high above,
As the hurricanes of fire on planet Earth rage.
Final moments upon us the chosen resurrected,
As eternal immortals are reborn a second time,
The tangent of our fate is once more corrected,
Prophetic frames of reference in spoken rhyme.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Crown Of Stars" demonstrates a strong sense of rhythm and rhyme, which contributes to its overall flow. The use of metaphysical and spiritual imagery, such as "stars descend from the cosmic skies" and "a lone angel in heaven lets out his soul cries", adds a layer of depth and complexity to the poem.
However, the poem could benefit from more clarity. The narrative seems to shift between different perspectives and events, making it difficult to follow. For instance, the transition from the angel's soul cries to the goddess contemplating fate is abrupt. Providing more context or a smoother transition could help the reader understand the connection between these two events.
The poem also tends to rely heavily on abstract concepts, such as "ancestral wisdom", "sacred mission", and "inner courage". While these concepts can add depth to a poem, they can also make it difficult for the reader to connect with the poem on a personal level. Incorporating more concrete and sensory details could help ground these abstract concepts and make them more relatable to the reader.
Lastly, the poem's language is quite elevated, with phrases like "tangent of our fate" and "prophetic frames of reference". While this language contributes to the poem's grandiose tone, it can also make the poem seem inaccessible to some readers. Simplifying the language or providing more context could help make the poem more accessible without sacrificing its depth.
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