Coquette

Absently she twirls a strand
of saffron colored hair
and peers at you with limpid baby blues
impossible to understand
yet vividly aware
that she is sending out misleading cues

her stance is hardly sexual
but somehow comes across
as being so without a conscious try
her talents are effectual
yet leave you at a loss
to fully understand the reason why

she smiles with mawkish innocence
as if it matters not
that tender years compel a man to think
then laughs with mellow eloquence
and tones that time forgot
causing you to thirst for stronger drink

the episode is quickly through
leaving little doubt
that miracles and magic are the same
your conscience has protected you
from things best done without
and left you wanting not to know her name

C. Lon R. Bruso

About This Poem

Last Few Words: No, I am not a "Dirty Old Man", well, perhaps slightly unwashed and aging! LOL!!

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

Comments

Lonnie

Exquisite write...not sure who inspired it..lol..

may be you would like to add an 'a"...just a suggestion

causing you to thirst for [a] stronger drink...

Regards.

Good suggestion, but the "a" is not necessary and would destroy the rhythm of the line! I do appreciate the thought though, and am grateful that you took the time to read this and leave me good feedback! Thanks again!

It has been awhile...

since I was last here to look around. I have neglected you and Neo for a while. I'm sorry. Now that that is out of the way, I wish to compliment you on a fine poem and I am not surprised that it comes from your pen! Your theme was great, real to life and your title very apt. I found the pattern a little dis-concerting at first but tried to get the rhythm of it, it reads just fine. Thanks for this one! ~ Gee

Thank you, Gee

Yes, its been sometime since you've been active and I, for one, am glad to see you back in the swing of things! I appreciate the read and the kind feedback!

Hmmmm

Guess I must have offended a few too many with this one! LOL!!

Lonnie

I don't wish to imply anything but you have written this as if you were there lol.
A great write and if true don't show Chrys this poem, I can picture you there and the woman Oh! damn I will shut up,
Yours, Ian..

Thanks Ian

Not to worry, its only poetry after all is said and done! LOL!! I appreciate the read and the comments!

You don't need me to tell you that it is elegant.

I would sell parts of my soul for your natural rhythm.

Thank you Wesley

That is quite a compliment and I am grateful for your opinion of my work even though I don't feel all that adequate to others here on Neo! This one was a fun write and I enjoyed my little poetic fantasy excursion! I am happy that you enjoyed it!

word useage!

mawkish...you pull up the old language as it was properly used..
well not old language..but the new rush to slim down stylize whats
left of language and style Its nice to see the content I know well..
the poem is rich in detail and observant descripts...
recognizing the power of youth and choice equally noted
rhyme is a strong beat in your works like another here
and I see why..why it is important to include this
even as a freeform writer...
the template works and is sound

a good summer poem
and story!!

thank you Lonnie!

I have two,

I have two suggestions, not critiques. Verse one- Absently twirling a strand of saffron coloured hair she peers at you with limpid baby blue eyes. Verse three- then laughs with mellow eloquent tones that time forgot. As i say these are suggestions not critiques, as i think this is a terrific poem. Regards Roscoe...