You play these games, baby honestly?
It's such a shame, you think you control me.
Control my life, and everything around,
I've got my feet on solid ground.
And you cant stand the sound.
That my heart doesn't pound for you anymore
You didn't want me im not your toy
you wanted a boy
I dont want to cover up for you
It hurts to much through and through.
All I ever do was try.
And you nothing but lie.
It makes me want to die.
I cry I try to create.
A cover up for my emotions and feelings
Like you did for fear someone would find out the truth.
You dont realize what you say is real
Ruthless
Thoughtless
Heartless
Im done
I want none of this.
I never said I didnt try
and im sorry our love had to die.
Feb 19, 2012
Control
About This Poem
Last Few Words: enjoy
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
hello♥
i like this. it cuts right to the point. i like how you express the feelings. :)
hiya<3
thanx means a lot coming from you=)
Love
I need to take a breath, A great write just a few breaks would help.
Have a go at the workshops here and see if you can have a mentor to help you a little with forms of poetry and the lovely rhythm of poetry that is the Classics.
Now a days most write free form as it saves learning but you have so much time to learn and polish what you have into a gem of poetry, Yours Ian.T
The last 8 lines are the poem
The rest is a love poem relevant to no-one else.
Sorry to be harsh, but see what I mean?
ofcourse not ur not being
ofcourse not ur not being harsh but do remember im only 17 and i do this just for fun
Effortless
I love all the time..I have many passions
and take risks..the world is full of people fearful
to work at relationships and there are many
whom were burned long ago and remained
scarred and broken beyond healing..
This poetic hurt here..and the best line for
me that I relate well to is this
"I never said I didn't try
and I'm sorry our love had to die"
gracious and accepting
not blaming Nor dragging anyone down
There is no room for this when one
has truly experienced a love effort
a love loss a love risk
This poem speaks well and I like
its construction well
Thank You
thank you verry much =) im
thank you verry much =) im glad u liked it
sweetie
it's ok that you are seventeen, it just means you have more time then i to learn, just open your mind. now that you have come here use the site for your benefit. read starlights poem she's young too. you must let your poetry flow it's in you just find that voice and let it be heard on paper. Maybe try and write angry. or dark. push love aside and write about what pisses you off. write it in prose. the poetry will follow. channel all the emotions you feel. I've been writing for a while, and i am still looking for my voice. all i know is that i love to read poetry more than writing it, but my writing comes from reading other poets. there is plenty to read here. this is a workshop and we learn from each other.
Eddie