I want!
i want!
The garden where the fruits Are!
An after life enjoyment
i want!
i want!
The worldly enjoyment
what makes this world go round
I want!
I want!
if there is a world after this
Where my soul is understood
Don't judge me!
A Kubolor speaks!
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I like the repetition.
Welcome to NeoPoet. A good early post. I don't care for free verse, but this is well formed and unique. I hope you are willing to try a structured western poem as well. To "stretch your wings", so to speak.
See you on other poet's work I hope. This is a workshop environment and invites critique from all its members. Go for it and let them know what you think.
I got...
the poem. Just wondering about the Kubolor bit. I looked it up and understand who he is, but not why you reference him. Unless it is about his art? Good work, nothing to crit. ~ Geezer.
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