Come to me and take a chance,
Throw caution in the wind.
Test your luck, don’t hesitate,
She who dares can only win.
Jump off a cliff so high and steep,
Come, choose risk to take.
Dive into a sea so deep,
You won’t melt, you’re no snowflake.
Come, forget all fear and doubt,
I’ll show you what it’s all about,
A new world of sensation.
Put on the parachute and leap,
Pray the lord your soul to keep,
Press pause on hesitation.
Comments
To get...
one thing out of the way: I see a typo in the third line-second stanza. " Dive into a se[a] so deep. I especially like the last stanza.
"Put on the parachute and leap
.Pray the Lord your soul to keep
.Press pause on hesitation"
A really nice turn of phrase and play on words. ~ Geezer.
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Hi Geezer,
Thanks for pointing out the typo. I have reread the poem numerous times and repeatedly failed to notice it.
Again, thanks for the encouragement.
Cheers
Jack
dear Jack,
I too am taken with the last stanza. very deep!
*hugs, Cat
Hi Cat,
Thank you for more kind words.
Honestly this bit was almost completely changed as it somehow did not sound just right to me. Now I am glad I stopped looking for alternatives :-)
Jack
Jack
I have written for over 30 years, the times I've re-read & re-written a stanza only to be told later when receiving a critique that it now doesn't work happens too often.
Glad you didn't fall into my trap & change anything too much. It reads awesomely & I have learnt to wait for other poets comments before embarking on a major change. Nine times out of ten the original words were fine, just a tweak occasionally.
Enjoyed the poem.
regards
One.
One,
Thank you very much for the support. I am happy that you enjoyed it.
Regards,
Jack
Hello Jack!
I can figure out a master or instructor in the poem giving helpful guide lines to take risk in life.
I liked the poem. Very instructive!
Hello Onyinyechi
This was intended as an invitation to love, but I very much like your take on it.
Thanks!
Cheers,
Jack
dear Jack,
dear Jack,
I extend my hand to you in wishing you many more poems like this one (I know you have them in you, just waiting to surface) and offering my congratulations!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
Dear Cat,
I cannot thank you enough for your support since my first poem here. I will try not to dissapoint you with any of my future work.
Hugs,
Jack
Congratulations...
for your win! ~ Geezer.
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Hi Geezer,
This really took me by surprise :-)
Thank you very much for your constant support.
Cheers,
Jack
Congratulations Jack!
More wins ahead.
Dear Jackweb,
I browsed back to this one and noticed a comment I did not respond to. I apologize for that.
Thank you for the support.
(Yesterday I finally got my hands on a copy of the anthology. Oh, happiness! :-) )