Timbo
Timbo
Nov 09, 2011

A Coin For My Pocket.

A coin for my pocket sir
for something to eat?
with no mum and dad
we beg on the street.
Not eaten for two days
my little sister and me.
A coin for my pocket sir
for a warm cup of tea?

A coin for my pocket miss
to get shoes for our feet?
We haven’t got a penny
or anywhere to sleep.
Our feet are really sore
without shoes they bleed.
A coin for my pocket miss
for something we need?

Here is the money mum
from begging on the street.
Got a lot of coins today
from fooling who we meet.
They give us their money
in the old marketplace.
Taking pity on my sister
with her grubby little face.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Favorite Poets: Rather than poets I tend to be influenced by songwriters and have a love of lyrics.

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

This poem demonstrates an interesting concept. Very well written.

always, Cat

Race_9togo

Very Dickens-esque, if I may butcher a concept, lol.
Third stanza is the best, it flows very well, the rhyming is good, and the impact is wonderful, following the tug of heartstrings manipulated in the first two stanzas.
Good stuff.

Timbo

Thank you Jim for your thoughtful and encouraging comments.
I've had some mixed reaction to the content on this one so it's nice to get some reassurance.
Take care,
Tim