reepa
Dec 05, 2011

CLOSE YOUR EYES

Close your eyes,
For one simple moment feel free.
Close your eyes,
Remember these words that flow within me.
Enchanted I scream
And cold mornings
Vanish for an eternity.

Alone in solitude,
This day shall not,
Will not I scream.
This day will not confine you.
Close your eyes and remember these words,
I pray you, listen,
In these times I will remind you.

Close your eyes,
Tears gone cold.
Allow this day not an eternity,
Allow this moments dream a reality.
One single moment this day,
In heart you shall not feel old
I pray you believe.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Eastern cape, South Africa, ZAF

More from this author

Comments

wesley snow

I mean really. I couldn't help you improve this one if my soul required it.
Oh wait,
"Allow this moments dream a reality." I think here "moment's" is possessive.
Okay, I'm done. No more typos and the poem is too stunning for me to mess with.
wesley

R

Thanks Wesely, that was my pen and paper, I took your advice,
I actually wanted to put there, This is for you.

Z.S Godfrey

loved

loved

13 years 4 months ago

what will they see
when as you want them to close .
their eyes
with that they will also close their mind..

but a good poem
and suggestion
your maiden poem

wesley snow

... just made me a mentor. I guess my work is done. I am very pleased that I could put such creative brakes on you. And it even worked. Thank you for my dedication. This goes in my archives. wesley

R

raj

13 years 4 months ago

what can i say about this write when seasoned poet like Wesleay has said "Stunning"..it indeed is that...with lot of depth...

R

Stunning is a big word. I am happy a poet like you can say somthing that big on something i wrote.
Many thanks.

Zane

Eduardo Cruz

I enjoyed this, because of the eyes being close to truly see. I am a Taoist, and the reason I close my eyes is so I can see without being trapped by the worlds domesticate of what I should see. Rather to see what my minds eye sees.
A marvalous write, it had an Old World and Eastern feeling to it.

Eddie

R

I loved your point of " eyes being close to truly see", My thanks. Truly
not much more to say.
I appreciate your words.

Zane