Love On The Wing
Got a story to tell you
You had better believe it
I am going to, spill the beans.
On the mating of Termites
The flying one’s take off
In sultry Summer’s sun, singing,
To everything there is a season.
I think more of a reason,
As they lift off to, go with the flow
Once they are mated and sated
Down they come losing their wings
Crawling helpless on the ground
They have eaten half my house
With their nasty habits
Worse than Australian rabbits
So I'll knock their lights out
Comments
Hi Ian
The first word is cliché enough, so you win. lol
Your last few words saved me from assuming we all "shared" cliches. That's a good reminder. I also noticed the alliteration in the title, and in some of the lines " sultry Summer’s sun, singing...".
Only issue I had was with the commas, which always make me pause before reading on. They sort of got in the way of things a bit, so on the second reading I ignored them.
Now I want to be told
dear Ian as I am-not a native speaker of English- but it is my second language, do I use these Cliché's or do I use them differently. Much of what you've written as Cliché's I am not aware of , so thanks for telling me something about this. I need to re-read to avoid them or you'd better bear with me when I have any in my writing.LOL
Opps
forgot to say that I much enjoyed your Cliché's
Rula,
Rula,
Many thanks for your visit I have put a site link here for you, it will show you many Cliché's that are in our ways of talking, they are a kind of slang in the poetry world.
We had a workshop last year on Cliché's how and why not to use them, Take care and have a lovely day, Yours Ian.T
I can't get through to the site from here put just put Cliché into search and have a look through them..
Love the poem, it works at several levels.
You know what I noticed most?
It has meter!
Not regular meter, freeform meter, but meter has normally been the weakest aspect of your craft.
Bloody well done.
hi ian
what a great use of cliche
i do so love it
it denies the so called 'fact' that cliche doesn't work - well a satire on cliche obviously does lol
thank you
love judy
xxx